"No..No!...Please Don't..."

"Could you teach me a little bit of that subject. I can't seem to understand how we do that" he said and without hesitation she agreed. They moved to two empty seats in their college classroom and started engrossing themselves in intense studies. Exams are nearing and its not easy to mug up the whole course material without some help. An hour passed and suddenly the room fell empty. It was just them and then suddenly he held her hand and rubbed it around his body moving it closer to his privates. The girl was shocked and tears popped out of her eyes when she realised what her "friend" was doing. She pleaded through her tears to let her go and pulled her hand back but he wouldn't stop. He slowly moved his hand around her admist the tears and her pleas to let her go..."No...No!...Please Don't..." He wouldn't stop...and then he heard someone coming and let go off her and she fled.....her tears flew fiercer than a river during a flood but she couldn't complain for he had a girlfriend and she was too innocent at heart and couldn't hurt someone by telling her girlfriend how ruthless and pathetic he was. Time passed and the hurt girl continued with her life, suffering all the pain she had gone through and the incident just never leaves her, haunting her everyday as she sees him sitting on the other end of her class....tears escape her eyes everytime she thinks about it...yet she can't speak it out and ease her pain...

Why is this world so cruel???? Rape attempts happen all over the world every other day. These days 4 yr old kids aren't spared either....I had to learn that the hard way when one of my best pal's sister was raped and murdered. And the court of our beloved nation let them go 'coz they were juveniles! If I were the judge I'd probably put the kids into prison and put their parents in too. Are we guys that bad? Can't we think of anything besides sex in our lives and constantly abuse the fairer sex? Life just doesn't seem to be fair.

How many of you girls reading this can relate to incidents like pinching or fondling in public places by strangers around you? Or even further a casual touch on the wrong parts with all the wrong notions by guy friends of yours?...or worse...an attempt of something a lot more serious? Why haven't most of you voiced out your pain? Do you think the respect we have for you will die down 'coz of it? Get real ppl, its just gonna get better and we'd probably help you fight it. It took one of my friends 10yrs to tell her parents of being molested when she was a kid...I'm glad she did. Most don't and things just seem to get worse for them in their lives.

People often condemn my religion and its concept of Hijab. I'm no religious preacher but there's one part of the hijab that most of you might have not heard of. The first part of Hijab is meant for the guys and not for the girls. If a guy were to see a girl who is provoking his desires he should not look at her and keep his eyes down. The covering up for the girl and the scarf is the second part of the Hijab. Its funny how only the second seems to be practised now.

The world seems to be going to the dogs and nymphomaniacs....and I'm getting pissed with life 'coz of how many of my friends are being victims of such crazy acts.........

As I say..."Life's a Crazy MESSSS!!!"

28 Response to ""No..No!...Please Don't...""

  1. Anonymous Says:
    Thu May 11, 04:33:00 PM

    Shanim,
    ve to say that this is worth a lot of cheers!!though was quiet appalled at t beginning wondering wat u were getting at....
    me too with u on this..high time society reacted to this concern more maturely and of course the laws are to be blamed..i guess this is more better handled in arab countries where the punishment is more lethal..awaiting the day when Indian govt incorporates this to our stuff...

  2. Anonymous Says:
    Thu May 11, 06:12:00 PM

    kidilan..in the beginning i was thinking tht u were narrating any cec incident, from the fifth sentence onwards i ruled out tht possibility, instead thought it may b a story tht u were coming up with..
    rerally gud yaar, if all in this world have thought like u, it wudnt take long for this world to b a bed of roses..Well done !! i didnt expect so much when i started reading..

  3. Manu says:
    Thu May 11, 07:05:00 PM

    well the start freaked me out ; but gotta say can we practise what we preach ? suppose a girl who has been scared like this comes out in public ; well we'll all support her and stuff but i wanna know how many of us "Chauvinistic Males " would be willing ti give her a life ? Well guess that is a point to ponder .........

  4. Anonymous Says:
    Thu May 11, 08:15:00 PM

    hey shanim,
    now i'd like to c some real thinking over wat manu had said above..looking ahead

  5. Shaan says:
    Thu May 11, 08:32:00 PM

    @diana

    I really don't know if such a thing would've happened in our college and I shudder to think any further. As for the story...its a real incident...I do not want to name the person though..

    @manu

    da..to tell u the truth, i doubt if there are any girl in this whole wide world who hasn't had problems like this in their lives...some minor some major...silence doesn't change anything so why should it be a criteria...yep I agree...most would be scared and shocked to even consider...but if the guy ain't a kid and considers his ego secondary, i don't think it should be an issue...

    @roshan

    hi di...yep the laws does seem lame in our country, but that's far from the truth. Our country has a lot of protection for the woman of the nation. It may be manipulated with, that's true and justice as usual is slow, but its strong. As for laws in Arab nations...you said it...its lethal and that's not sensible. Fatal punishments aren't what we should be thinking about, that's for someone up there who's constantly auditing our actions.

    As for your second comment...a girl who's gone through hell out of no fault of hers shouldn't be kicked out of society...and i for one wouldn't care less!

  6. Anonymous Says:
    Thu May 11, 08:49:00 PM

    this is a specific que to u guys shaan n manu..since u dared to talk bt it..
    wd u or wd u not back out if considering a girl like that seeks a nupital help from u..?

  7. Shaan says:
    Thu May 11, 09:05:00 PM

    @roshan

    nupital?? do you mean nuptial?

    if its the latter...i would help and if it was with respect to a gal who's my potential wife...i don't care what her past has as long as she's truthful to me and loves me for what i am..her past is her past, just like my past is mine it doesn't hold significance for the present or the future. All I would expect of her would be the truth always, all through her life...i can't handle lies ever and if i do say no, it would be for lies and hidden secrets...

  8. Manu says:
    Thu May 11, 10:02:00 PM

    well roshan,

    well lemme play it straight and am gonna be real frank bout it - i certainly wud have a prob with it,thats wat made me ask the question in the first place! i know it certainly is pathetic but ;easier said than done.i agree there's no point in probbing into a person's past but this is different. the couple would always bear it's scar deep inside and of course we certainly do have our aam janatha to deepen that scar.
    .
    "sad but true "
    to be frank i don't think most indian males would have the mindset to go in for such a course of action. well if we had so many of these so called " Model Youth" we wouldn't have so many of these
    blatant violations.

  9. Anonymous Says:
    Thu May 11, 10:09:00 PM

    LIFE IS A CRAZY MESS man...its true da....its nice to see that u hav come up with a good realistic blog man...These kind of situations r happenin more regularly these days naa....

  10. SeriousLady says:
    Fri May 12, 01:35:00 PM

    Well, this kind of topic do spark ppl's interests. The kind of attitude that Shanim has should definitely be commended since as Manu said, its something not found easily.
    But why should deep scars and stuff set in,if something happened in the past against the girl's will? Its not as if she wants it to happen.Even if you cant prevent such things from happening, the least you can do is to heal those scars and move on..

  11. Anonymous Says:
    Fri May 12, 05:53:00 PM

    Amen to that!!! Life really does stink na.. No.. Actually, it's the crazy lunatics in this World who make it that way! The number of sickos, psychos and MCP's just keeps increasing, doesn't it.. Let's jus hope that more ppl start developing a mindset like urs so that things can get a little Better..!

  12. Anonymous Says:
    Fri May 12, 09:04:00 PM

    hmmm...honestly I've never read you blogs b4...and interestingly enough we kinda had a discussion about this whole guys and sex desire in our emails recently...

    as much as the discussion goes on, reality stays at its place, however discussions abt such real life cases just makes me more scared and aware!

    -BR

  13. അനൂപ് :: anoop says:
    Fri May 12, 10:34:00 PM

    Yep,maan.It s good to see such an inflamable thread of discussion in your blog..Sometimes life is really a CRAZY mess..See what happened in the last rape cases in kerala like Kiliroor case ..Once the society labels the victim, it's hard to change!! The scars are never let to heal..We should think of developing an attitude to help the victim to heal, instead the events are publicised and politiced and media celebrate with it!!

  14. Shaan says:
    Sat May 13, 03:02:00 PM

    @anonymous

    Its not just the lunatics that seem to elevate the problem, but those who keep silent after such things have happened that elevate it. If more would come out in the open and make complaints or fight back for minor events the more major ones can surely be averted.

    @BR

    ya man...we have been having a lot of talk about this. And there are more up my head which I just couldn't bring out in the blog. Awareness is important but fear isn't. Fear just makes you weak and does not give you enough strength to fight back when required. Be prepared at all times and fight back rather than hoping someone else will.

    @anoop ag

    The media....well I have no comments on that front. Most just love to scandalise everything they get. Take TOI for example, their Bangalore Times is more like a Porn Tabloid than anything else. Scandals work regardless of the damage they cause to individuals. The pain the family and the girl goes through is truely too much to handle. Fighting it before something happens would surely be a better solution than just waiting to do something after its too late.

  15. Shaan says:
    Sat May 13, 03:05:00 PM

    @manu

    Quite true man. Most ppl find it hard to accept such stuff and move on. I'm just hoping more do. At no fault of a person she need not be punished.

    @dilip

    Very true man, such stuff keeps increasing lately. Its like the Devil has been let loose on the earth.

    @tina

    Prevention does seems to be a far fetched dream but fighting it isn't. Yep I just hope more ppl think more about it and hopefully quit doing such crap.

  16. Sameera says:
    Sat May 13, 08:37:00 PM

    @shanim

    first of all kudos on a post written very well about something very pertinent and something that's all over the place but at the same time people dont want to talk about it..

    is there any solution?i doubt it being as easy as girls complaining about it..the law takes its own sweet time before something happens and by then some more ugly heads of such guys would have popped up anyways..


    im so proud of u when you say you wouldnt have an issue with a potential wife if she had such a case in the past..

    what i want to ask manu is ..in a way it's good that he's frank and letting us know he aint so comfortable with the whole idea...

    there's another way to look at it..it be was molested..no it aint no joke..nowadays anything can happen....so would he want some girl saying the same thing to him?
    cos of things that aint in his hand?


    as for the other way..god forbid but the girl ,like most girls,might not even tell him about it..how would he know?

    it's honesty vs the consequences..

    awesome post man..keep em coming..and like i said it's nice to know good guys are not a myth in the present age. :)
    u rock man

  17. Sameera says:
    Sat May 13, 08:39:00 PM

    i mean "if he was molested" instead of "it be was molested"...hope u understood :)

  18. Sameera says:
    Sat May 13, 08:40:00 PM

    also i guess u meant nymphomaniacs when u said lympho..:)

  19. Pranay says:
    Mon May 15, 12:31:00 AM

    know how you feel.It is very frustrating. I think the only way to tackle this problem is to raise awareness. I don't think the law or government can do anything about it. Only changing the mentality of the general male population can help solve this prob. And that can only be done when they know that the girls are now more aware and also maybe it would help them empathize.
    I've written a post on the same topic.
    http://pranaytalking.blogspot.com/2005/11/what-women-go-through.html

  20. Anonymous Says:
    Mon May 15, 02:03:00 PM

    hey shaan,

    looks like you've already got a lot of people pondering over your blog... and everyone seems to have the common opinion... raise your voice against anything that happens...

    for all those i have a question... have you ever been in the girl's shoes? i guess not most but all the women folk will say yes... we all have been molested at one point of time, no matter how subtle it may be... but has anyone ever faced raising a voice, slapping the guy, and then being followed for days together waiting to be avenged??? friends, that is the harsher side of the truth... where is that girl's safety once she makes a big deal out of a small incident??? who guarantees it??? you??? me??? no one... have you ever faced the fear of stepping out of your house with the feeling that you might not come home in the same shape???

    and complain... where do you complain??? who do you tell??? at the most go to the police when you are being shadowed... and what do they do??? have you faced it to know it? they make you come back for days together on the pretext of doing something about it... and in the long hours that you spend waiting for someone to listen to you and grant justice, keep a notice as to where and what the people there are looking at... if 99 percent of the times you don't come up with the answer bosom area, you are either blind and oblivious to whats happeneing around you, or you haven't witnessed that situation for yourself...

    in an environment like this, where do you go??? awareness is not something that is for others... it is for us first... all things like harsher punishment and raising the voice sound nice but how far can it be practical? i'm not saying never... they need to be in place... but this world is far from ideal... so the sooner we accept and adapt, the better...

    to some extent, i blame the victim too... not everyone, but a few... what makes them think that dressing provocatively is going to make them any safer??? if you're doing this to show that you're hep, you are nothing but crazy... if any decent guy didn't like you at "face" value, then what makes you think he's gonna see anything else but "pick me up" written all over you if you curtail your clothing???

    each girl needs to be aware first... she needs to know that if she went through a bad incident, it maight not be her fault... and there is nothing for which she needs to be scarred for life... but if she was the cuse in any way, look into it and change... the only thing that is constant in this world is change... and remember if you don't feel and look dignified, you'll never be... you are loved and precious... it is worth saving yourself...

    gems get dirty all the time... a sparkle is just a wipe and a polish away...

  21. Shaan says:
    Mon May 15, 04:28:00 PM

    @sam

    thanks for the comment man and uhm...im kinda blushing here...alright quitting all that. I agree, it is a question of honesty there. Shying away from the truth 'coz it doesn't help. Being mature and accepting things is a lot better.

    And yep I meant nymphomaniacs but my fingers acted hyper towards the end and ended up on the wrong letter. I seem to be making quite a few typos lately...sorry about that

    @pranay

    Truely agree that awareness among the male population would be good but is that really enough? The world doesn't really work on awareness alone. Does knowing the fact that nicotine can kill you reduce the number of smokers around the world? I guess not.

    Everyone knows things of the sort are wrong, I'm sure even those who attempt such feats do but knowing alone won't help, doing something about it will and I hope ppl do something about it.

    Unfortunately I'm not wise enough to suggest a solution. I still wonder what that could be...

    Nice blog btw...

  22. Shaan says:
    Mon May 15, 04:36:00 PM

    @anonymous (NT)

    Thanks for that awesome comment! You're right about reality. Yep it sucks. Complains don't help and neither does fighting back in most cases. But isn't our silence just making things worse?

    I agree completely on the way ppl dress up. Skimpy dresses won't get you anywhere but trouble, and if you're asking for it...well God help you! Its funny how so many try funny things to make a fashion statement. As you said, they walk around with a huge billboard screaming out "PICK ME UP!" like one of those neon lights found in a Casino. Gals who think that's hep, think again, we respect you for what you are and dressing up like that just puts in three letters before that, "dis".

    Dude...you really need to start blogging....

  23. Anonymous Says:
    Tue May 16, 07:46:00 PM

    hi shanim,
    There are some people in this world who make an entry in your good books by their looks! Some others by their charecter and some others by their talent.
    And you mr.Orator, belong to the third category.(no offense dint mean that u dont have gud looks or charecter).
    and abt u'r blog well, i guess this has been a hot topic for a while now especially after the rape murder of the hp call centre employee prathiba.But the whole point is nobody can do anything about it other than pitying the victim and her relatives once the news comes in the papers and channels!!
    but hey there are a few guys like you who actually ponder over the entire issue and jot down your thoughts ....We girls have always envied guys for the kinda freedom they njoyed. Latenight movies and parties , roaming around the town in the night....mann!!, some of the things i wud love to do one day!!
    i wud call this a good gesture towards making plp(both men and women) 'aware' of such disgusting traumas in life!!

  24. Anoop B says:
    Wed May 17, 12:22:00 PM

    Hi Buddy...
    I'v decided to comment on yr blog afterall ! ;)
    About this blog entry...
    Well, i'd say you havnt considered the whole issue here...
    Let's c...
    Why is the world so cruel ? That's a ques even a kid who dint get his fave toy asks... But the worst part is... We just can't do anythng about it.
    Rembr dear, u asked me to go punch the guy who did it to our friend ? & wt good would that do ?
    You talkd of yr friend who took 10yrs to tell her parents about bein molested... well i respect the girl for doin that even if she took that long to overcome her emotions.
    But you knw wt? You n me've got no right to judge her. coz face it... most of us are MCPs to the core.
    How many of us "men" would respect a girl who stood up for herself if she got raped ? ok, fine a lot of them would clap after her "speech" n condemn the guy who did it, n we go off...
    Wt would the girl do ? Evrytime she walks the streets ppl are gonna refer to her as the "raped girl" n not the "courageous girl". Very few men in this world would marry a girl who has been raped, coz for some bloody reason, the dominant species thinks that he could donate millions to brothels n still have to have a virgin for a wife even if she had no part of loosing it.
    You knw, the thing is tht we indians atleast have a notion that a lady' respect has got something to do with her being a virgin, or being not molested or whatever.
    & about the comments you'v got on the topic... well its good to see the way ppl have reacted to it...
    But abt the comment by "anonymous" n yr reply to it... Shaan, when was the last time you went to a beach n swan around in yr shorts ? Which girl molested you then ? How many guys do you see walkin in low waist jeans or is bare chested ? Ask them if they have been raped ? So how come, just the girls are blamed when they wear fashinable clothes ?
    Hmm... lets consider this... The girl you talked about... was she wearing a mini skirt or a tube top ? i think she told me tht she was wearing a churidar. Maybe she should wear a burkha n even pad up her body to show an awful figure....
    God, get real, man ! If a girl is wearing a traditional sari or a tight top n micros, it simply isnt her fault if a guy molests her. The last time i checked, a girl's born with no less rights than a guy. Its not like we men have to face such things, then y should they ? Listen, irrespective of what a girl wears or doesnt, as long as she's not hurting anybody else, she's got the right to do it. & if a guy looses control over this, then let him go propose to her (for a life-long reln, live-in reln or even a one nights stand) or go jerk off, for god's sake !
    & if he oversteps his limitations n then the next best thing is for the judicial system to catch the guy n cut his damn genitals off.
    Hmm...
    i guess tht's enough for now.... pretty sure you wouldnt ask me to post again, nyways... c u round !

  25. Anonymous Says:
    Sat May 20, 02:01:00 PM

    i can relate to this blog and i know how it feels ... most females cant voice their opinions because they are scared that they would be blamed for it....! its the hot topic on all talk shows ..oprah ... jerry springfeild..montel ..blah blah ... and it gets no better how ever publisied it gets ...!
    anyway ..uim proud of you that you've come to realise it ...and i respect you a whole lot ..!
    god bless ..!

  26. Shaan says:
    Sat May 20, 10:42:00 PM

    @namitha

    hey da...naaa me no orator. I was just kinda bugged about something and just had to get it off my head. Its true it was kinda intense....thanks for the compliment and thanks even more for the comment :)


    @anoop

    yeah true i got carried away there...was just a little too bugged then and i guess wasn't thinking straight...you're right about it not having any effect. about your comment on the dressing, well you're right...if a guy is bent on doing something the dressing doesn't matter but well at some cases it does...

    Thanks for the comment dude and keep posting...and no i wouldn't ask u not to :)

    @anonymous

    Thanks dude...

  27. Shaan says:
    Mon May 22, 01:35:00 PM

    Man's roving hand at mall costs him dear
    http://archive.gulfnews.com/articles/05/05/27/166788.html

    11/24/2005 07:04 AM | By Nasouh Nazzal, Staff Reporter

    A man who pinched a girl's bottom got more than he expected after a barrage of blows landed on him from the victim, her mother and her friends.

    The man is now in jail, and the case has been referred to the Public Prosecution in Ras Al Khaimah for further investigation.

    Ras Al Khaimah police detained the man last week after he harassed the girl in a shopping mall.

    Eye-witnesses said the girl, accompanied by her mother and two friends, was looking for a laptop computer in the mall.

    The man followed the group for some time, got closer to the girls, and pinched one of them. The girl began shouting and slapped the man on his face. The man slapped her back on her face.

    The mother and the girl's friends joined forces and started beating the man with their shoes. Hearing the commotion, several visitors gathered at the scene.

    The women beat up the man with their nails cutting into his face, at which the onlookers tried to intervene and end the fiasco.

    The women, however, could not be pacified.

    Even the mall's security guards, who had rushed to the scene, could not control the angry women.

    The guards then called police patrols, who arrived on the spot after a while.

    After much exertion, the patrols were able to wrest the man out of the furious women's grip, and arrested him.

    The families of the women had arrived in the mall by this time and eye-witnesses said had police arrived later, the situation could have gone out of control.

    While on their way out, police advised the women and their families never to take the law into their hands.

    The police patrols also questioned people who had witnessed the episode at the mall. A senior police officer said the man has confessed to his crime.

  28. Haritha says:
    Sun Jun 04, 06:55:00 PM

    hi shaan,

    i came across ur blog on the comm on orkut (very glad i did too). sex abuse of women is a very glaring subject. i did start writing about it on my blog, but consequently shelved the idea, as its so meaningless to appeal to ppl who offer just lip service, or worse dont even bother commenting (thus cold-shouldering it). i am a bit of a feminist where thats concerned. when i started reading ur blog, i thought i stumbled across another guy who makes a joke out of a girl's helplessness. but as i read on, i was impressed with the way u dealt with the subject. i also read another reply u gave to a poser of ur reaction to a woman treated as such. if only all guys could not just think the same but even follow it up in real life.

    another interesting and enlightening aspect was about hijab. i was really taken aback when i read that. that some muslim men dont follow wots behoven to them by the holy scriptures is disgraceful. it was incidentally a lurking point somewhere at the back of my mind, its funny that how could a man not be restricted in islam. i should thank you for bringing it out.

    @ anoop (if thats ok)

    i feel the problem with men accepting a woman is not just because she is no longer a virgin. it has more to do with scandal, and the essential opinion of society that a modest woman should not be in news for any wrong reasons. if u have to, u have to be a celebrity, or an amazon to face upto the tremendous pressure that society weighs u down with. there is so much force from police enquiries (which often run into vulgar... causing discomfort to the victim), or from relatives who try to create the "accept life... god will take care of things" state of mind.

    someone tell the world that Bush is God, and he is currently with eye-raq, so he wont be available to remem wot happened to the girl. give that girl stregth. not sympathy. who needs symapthy??? it doesnt remove the pain (i wont ever call it blemish! how dare anyone does?) its no slur on her character.