Life's a crazy mess!

Yes Yes! The truth is finally out....I've become lazy...and we aren't talking lazy of the kind who doesn't like getting up in the morning, but the kind who "gets up, walks to the couch with four packs of potato chips and 2 large bottles of pepsi and turns on the TV and stays put till late afternoon when the tummy grumbles for attention" lazy! It's been ages since I blogged, and I know it more than all of you do....'coz well.....hehe...the goldfish that I am, I f'got the password again ;)

So wat's been keeping yours truly busy you ask? Aaaah...it eees wonderful how life has changed from a boring routine wake up and get to work to a wake up and head to the airport, fly a thousand miles, head to the hotel and walk to work routine ;) Confused....don't worry...Shanim's here to solve your troubles and get you away from the terrors of a shrink. I quit my first company...yipeeeeee...ok not so yipeee but yipee nevertheless....felt the job was not challenging anymore and decided on making my first change in careers (not counting the brief stint with Tyco in Abu Dhabi where I kinda screwed up their design for the Central Prison....kick the access control and you're home free...Prison Break would surely be a bore if it were shot in the Central Prison I designed :D). I'm now a consultant traveling the world....or atleast one side of it.

And now...after 8 flights in two months, I'm headed back to the place that started it all...Delhi....

How? What? Which? Where? Will the internet at KLIA get faster? All these questions and much more in my next post....till then....Selamat tinggal

The things ppl lose at airports these days....phones, babies, baggage, pens, money, planes......PLANES???

Ooooh yeaaaa....apparently the new Airport at Bangalore is so confusing, the govt owned Indian apparently couldn't find it's plane in the tarmac and got my laughing away in a coffee shop sooo loud, people around me thought I had finally lost it. Now that's what I call lost and confused :D

What's the first thing that comes into your mind when you think of Islam?

Ten seconds of pondering and I'm sure your answers would've been something in the lines of anger, war, Taliban, Al Qaida, terrorism, or something similar. And this about a religion that has preached peace to all it's followers. A religion that has asked never to bring hatred in conversation or in action. A religion that has meant to protect......but reality is far from it.

Now you may ask, why is Shanim of all people preaching about Islam? The answer...."Khuda Kay Liye".




Shoaib Mansoor and the rest of his team has done an amazing job in portraying what Pakistan was and is going through post-9/11. A must watch for sure! And yep...check out the song as well :)

As promised, I begin my short but totally weird stories of my life at work in Delhi. I work for my client, an American Telecommunications company. We are setting up a Cellular network for our customer, the Government Telecom Operator in Delhi (don't want the name to pop up in searches so let me give it a fictitious name, Doorsanchar).

A couple of months back, I was asked to get some work done in one of Doorsanchar's sites and complete it as soon as possible. Being from an environment where work starts at 8:30am and goes on till late evening, I had planned on getting to work a notch early. Since Doorsanchar's working hours (as stated in their employement policies) is from 9:30am to 6pm, I decided on getting there at around 9:15am and working on my task till a little after 6:30pm.

I managed to get to the Metro station on time and after a 35 min ride on the Blue Line of DMRC, I was finally at the site. After a quick breakfast at a local store I was at the gate of the site. The security was standing up in front of me and stopped me there.

Guard: Who are you and why are you here?
Me: Sir, I'm here for the new project on the 4th floor. Here's my gate pass for today.

After a long glance at the paper stuffed with 7 signatures and some horrible writing by some Doorsanchar Officer, he stared back at me......his pan clad teeth almost got me nauseous but I managed to keep a straight face.

Guard: Oh but you are early. The office opens only at 9:30, come back later.

With a confused face, I looked at my watch...the whole discussion had apparently taken over ten minutes and it was now 9:27am.

Me: Sir, it is 9:30 already. Take a look at my watch.
Guard: No it is 9:27, come back after 3 minutes!

..........a silence followed and I found my way out and sat down on the pavement, waiting for another 180 seconds to get done with......so much for punctuality!

A reminder that I'm still in Delhi - "It's freezing cold!" (To all the guys and gals in Europe and America...yea yea...temps are lower but you guys have heaters to cut the crap! :P)

A lot has happened since I last started a conversation with you guys. For one, I've moved out of Dwarka and am now in East Delhi, a degree warmer and a lot closer to civilization. After 3500Kms being clocked on my bike, I've finally found Delhi interesting. I no longer crib that I'm missing Bangalore 'coz yes my dear friends....I now officially have a life! yipeeeee! (To all those weirdo pals of mine back in Bangalore...nopes, I didn't get married! :P)

Just thought I'd start off with a teaser and remind the world that I'm still alive...will get back to blogging as soon as possible...keep watching this space for more as I bring you - "Working with Govt Officials...A Revisit!" This is a sequel to my very first blog and should probably go on for a couple of posts.....so why am I going back to the same lame topic? Quite simple....I'm surrounded by them!!

A friend of mine introduced me to the magic of flickr recently. I'm hooked onto it like flies on garbage now :)

Take a look at my shots at moi flickr page

http://www.flickr.com/photos/shanim/

As all my blog posts start off with "It's been a long time..." I shall refrain from repeating myself as the statement is now implied :)

I was browsing the net in search of some information on Ramadhan and when it would start (apparently I'm lazy to go to a masjid and find out from there) and I stumble upon this new article on Khaleej Times. This made me think....how fun would it be to have a job just looking at the moon? They have a committee that works once a month, stare at the sky and search for a moon. Their conversations at work would probably be....

Guy A: Hey is that the moon there?
Guy B: No stupid, that's just the lights off the Burj Dubai
Guy A: Oh yeah...how had i missed that??
Guy C: Hey there there the moon!!!
Guy B: hmmm...let me have a look at it...ok this calls for a conference, get Moon Sighting Committee in Dubai on the line

135kms away

Dubai: Aloo alooo....yes yes...we are the moon sighting committee in Dubai...how may we help you?
Guy B: We think we saw the moon did you?
Dubai: Aaah...come to think of it, we were supposed to do that tonight right? Just a min...
(a couple of screaming and shouting later)
....yes yes...we too see it.
Guy A: Alright so we have seen the moon. Call the press, and we'll see ya next month.

Ka-Ching! Salary in the bank....

Now that's what I call a good job. Alright now if that was a weird job, let's move onto another scenario...this I am narrating out of a real life experience I had and although I'm known to stretch the truth a little, the following is as-is!

It was a bright Sunday morning....possibly 'coz it was 12pm...but nevertheless it was bright and it was well....uhm...(ok ok let's just take it as 11:59am)...morning! I had finally decided to have a haircut after 2 months. Those of you who don't know me, this is normal my hair doesn't grow much...and to those who do...."I DO have hair!!!". A friend of mine had suggested a certain hairdresser in South Delhi and said they did a wonderful job and wasn't too expensive (by this he meant it didn't cross 500Rs). I was in a mood to spoil myself so I thought I'd give it a shot.

An hour long auto ride and I was in Vasant Vihar. A quick bite at McDonald's and there I was at the store, wondering if I should go ahead and give them a challenge of a lifetime....ie. to cut my hair! My decision...as you may have all guessed...was to go in after all.

I walked in and my first query was with their charges. They had different rates for a hair cut and a cut with a wash inclusive, the miser in me decided to choose the former and I was stuffed in one of those fancy chairs in front of a mirror that did anything but show you your reflection. The barber (uhm....I learnt later that he was a 'hairdresser' and took quite a huge offense when I called him a 'barber' out loud...yes yes...and I've learned never to mess around with a man who cuts your hair and is armed with a couple of sharp objects) said my hair was too messy and required a wash...$$$$ was the only thing in my mind then...but I remind you once again...I never mess with a guy armed with sharp objects...

The pesky assistant kicked off his long and irritating conversation just about then. His questions ranged from "Where did you cut your hair before this?", "Are you losing hair?", "Sir, your blackheads are showing", "Are you from Delhi?","How much do they charge for a haircut in Bangalore?","Why are you looking so tired sir? Shall I suggest a facial?".....little was he to know that I was plotting a murder...the victim...as you may have guessed was right in front of me...all I needed was to distract the hairdresser for a few seconds and arm myself with one of his weapons....alas...it was not meant to be :(

I was stuffed back in the chair and was now staring at my face...which looked tired....and voila...enter hairdresser with a utility belt stuffed with scissors of various shapes and sizes and a wicked smile on his face. He observed his canvas for a while...and flinched...this was probably not one of his lucky days...he spent a whole 10 minutes staring at my hair...and occasionally shaking his head wondering why he was selected on this bright day with his toughest challenge. He finally decided to make conversation and asked me "What would you like?" to which I said that anything that looks presentable is fine. There was a momentary smile and then he went back to observing his canvas. And then without any notice, he picked up his scissors and was at work.

I spent the whole time observing how this artist was working on his masterpiece (if you may call it that). A clip here and a clip there, it was amazing seeing him go...after 15 minutes of intense struggle, he was done! The pesky assistant was now back and he began his questions once again as he banged my head into position (this is a certain thing exclusive to Indian barber shops...oops hair stylists :P). The hairdresser was back and he put on a hair styling cream and whacked my hand when I attempted to style it myself. He had a look that would probably get a lion to run for cover and once again I remind you...sharp objects. The final question that the pesky assistant left me with was "Sir, do they tip in Bangalore?"...My answer (quite predictable).."No we don't"...to which his immediate response was "But out here they tip a lot"...I smiled...He insults me about my hair, my face, my poor nose and then bugs me every two seconds with totally meaningless questions and now has the nerve to ask for a tip....yea right! The armed man took over and led me to the cashier. I was forced to pay for the wash as well and I made a quick exit...watching as I left, a tear on the hairdresser's eye ('coz of his miserable failure) and the disappointed face of the pesky assistant.

I get home and finally got to see myself in a mirror....sigh...and once again I'm in a loss of words....and hair!!

Its just one of those days again....a time when you look back at images of a distant memory and wonder when you'd be able to be there once again...

NRIs, non-resident indians (non-returning indians to some) are probably the most confused souls in this planet. We often move out of our country in search of better futures and a better life on the other side of the world. 37 yrs back, my dad did the same, a long ship ride into a deserted country and a decade plus of struggles later he brought smiles to many lives around him. I've just completed 24 yrs, the time my dad made the decision to move out...here I am in Delhi, blogging this out to you as I stay completely confused abt my present, my past and most importantly...my future!

Let's just stick with the past...the reason I began this post in the first place. A couple of months back, Samir (a buddy from school) began posting pics of our good times in school...this was followed by a couple of others doing the same and I (being the non-imaginative one) followed suite as well. This was followed by a major frenzy of activities within Facebook: tags, photo comments, friend add requests, and the "Where the hell are you dude??" msgs flowing in.....a close look at the profiles and I guess I got to see close to 40 different cities listed there as current location!! A look at the pics....and few seconds of being in a trance later...I realize what we had when we were there together in Abu Dhabi might never happen again. The games of football, the bunking of classes, the broken basketball rims (courtesy of me and a couple others...esp when we were bunking and avoiding any form of attention), swimming competitions, the all you can eats at pizza hut and kfc, the meetings at the corniche we knew...the boring city of Abu Dhabi was not soo boring to us back then...



Missing you all...and wish going back home would really mean to all you guys and gals from ADIS and not just to the city we now know as "Boring"

Wishing all my brothers and uhm....sisters??...naaaaaa....and all the gals across the border and very happy Independence!

A long time away from blogging and I'm finally back! yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Guess the rains inspired me to finally blog.

The heat in Delhi was just unbearable and it resulted in constant loss of liquids in my body and a certain tingling feeling on the keyboard 'coz of all the sweat accumulating there (yes yes I can certainly be gross and I shall avoid getting into further details). A sweltering few days since the beginning for June...which had me doing quite a bit of jogging and jumping in my room (oh now...u know me, i can't be health conscious can I?) thanks to the hot floor :S. But yes...it did some good too, many of my long forgotten friends started messaging me and mailing me to see if I was still alive and hadn't melted yet :D

Now that I'm done with my ramblings, let's get down to business as I sip my Gatorade into the night. If Delhi's got me addicted to something, it's Gatorade! I could go on about it but I'm no cricketer to endorse products.

A few months back I had started using a certain cycle rickshaw regularly from the metro station to my office near New Delhi Railway Station. It wasn't me being lazy to walk, it was just that there was this one guy who always offered to take me there and was pretty good at convincing me to sit in his rickshaw. Let's just start from the beginning then....it was 9:35p...I was late (yes you all may have noticed the accidental p I placed there...let me correct that...9:35am :D) and one of our subcons had arrived at site and was calling me up and asking me where I was as the door was locked (I double as a security guard...or the 'Keymaker' if you want it to sound more matrix like). I had to get to the site and couldn't afford to take my routine 15 minute morning walk. A bunch of rickshaws stood before me and for once, the dim bulb in the brain shone bright!

Me: Bhaiya, I need to go to Zakir Hussain College. How much will you charge?
R1 : 15Rs
Me: Are you crazy????? I'll pay 5Rs.
R1 : Sorry I won't go

(moves to the next rickshaw and attempts the same dialogue again)

R2 : 10Rs sir
Me: 5Rs!
R2 : Sir pay 8Rs I'll take you there
Me (thinking) : hmmm....should I just go or waste another 10 minutes haggling?
Me: sigh...okay (yes, we indians love to haggle and hate losing in any of the Bargain Battles)

And that's the story of how I first got into that rickshaw. In the days that followed, he'd get ready with his cycle rickshaw when I got out of the metro station and ask me to get in. His rates went down from the initial 8Rs to 5Rs for the ride. Often I'd pay an advace for two or three days and he wouldn't ask for more (yes yes I did tip once in two weeks).

One morning as I got into the rickshaw, I noticed the guy looked pretty worried. Curiosity got the best of me and...

Me: Hey, you look upset...something wrong?
RW (Rickshaw walla...I just realised I forgot to ask him his name!): Yes sir, last night someone stole all my money, I was sleeping on that corner of the road and they took all the money I had made that day.
Me: Oh my God! That's bad!
RW: Yes sir, I had bought a new shirt for my brother and one for myself and kept it in a bag. In the evening I had downed a few and went off to sleep there and the next morning I see that someone had taken my plastic bag....the b@#%@!#s!
Me (thinking): New clothes...bag....alcohol...loss of senses...sleep on road...robbed....yep kinda makes sense
Me: That's real bad (yep...I was totally monotonous there and couldn't think of anything else to say...eventually the light bulb helped)...wrong time to ask you this but how much do you make a day?
RW: Sir, generally I make around 400-500Rs a day. After food and alcohol, I manage to save around 300Rs a day.

Me (thinking again): hmmm...500X25 (assuming he's working everyday) comes to around 1250...oh boy life must be tough for him....uhm...wait....500X25?? WTF!!! That's 12,500Rs without taxes!!!! I got paid that much in my first year in the company!!!!!!

Me: That's quite a sum, why do you keep all the money in your hand always? Why don't you get a savings account in one of the banks nearby and get an ATM card. You can put in money every evening after you finish work. You'll be able to save a lot more and send money to your family in the village too.
RW: Sir I already have an account, but it's on the other side of town. I've got 3lacs there which one of my relatives had given me. I'm saving that to start a business of my own in a few months. I'm hoping to save some from the work I'm doing now.
Me: Yeah and you can make it much better if you start saving your money and not letting others rob you
RW: Yes sir....sir...do you think they'll give me an account in one of those banks?
Me: Why not?? There are many banks nearby. State Bank of India will open one for you with just the savings you make everyday. And you can deposit money at any time of the day. Even at night.
RW: Really sir? I was thinking of putting it in my account there but it's too far and I can't go everyday. I think I shall do something tomorrow or so...Thank you sir...Sir if you don't mind, could you give me an advance for tomorrow, I haven't had breakfast.

Paid him 15Rs that day...yes a measly sum but it meant a lot to him. It's funny how we underestimate many ppl around us. These guys move in from neighboring states into Delhi and slog their days riding contraptions that carry 3-4 ppl in the summers of Delhi. Often having to bargain their fare for an extra Re or two.

Their dreams may be modest, but it's nice to know that this city....the Lazy Metro...still has it's dreamers...the ones who still dream of a future where they are sitting behind a store making money out of hard work than sleeping away in a corner office. Haven't seen the guy for almost 3 weeks now...I'm hoping he got his savings right and managed to get that store he was dreaming and telling me of.....the very Best of Luck to him :)